Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Why Hope? Part 2

Several years ago, I purchased two ceramic crosses for my daughters' room. Kaiden's said Joy, and Jordan's said Peace. I loved to sit in their room at night, rubbing backs and looking at the words, remembering how God had given those words to us.

Also that year, a friend bought me another ceramic from the same store, a heart that said Hope. From the moment I received the gift, it seemed like a piece to a puzzle. It wasn't a cross like the others, and as a far as we were concerned, we were done having children. So I set the heart ceramic on my dresser, not even sure where to hang it in my home.

While pregnant with Lia, I returned to the boutique, looking for a cross that said Grace. But they no longer carried the ceramics, and no one knew the name of the company. Disappointed, I returned home and looked at the heart ceramic, still resting on my dresser. I wondered if I had misunderstood, perhaps Lia's word was Hope and not Grace.

Last winter, following Lia's passing, I spent some time redecorating the room where her and Jordan were to have slept. I hung Lia's quilt and mementos alongside Kaiden and Jordan's. I also finally hung the Hope heart. The thought of hope for the future, whether or not that included more children, brought great peace to my grieving heart.

In November, I stood in the room once again, contemplating how to organize a guest bed and crib into the small space. I glanced at the wall and suddenly saw the two year puzzle completed. Months ago, long before our new little one came into being, I had hung the Hope heart on the wall right beside 3 framed pieces - one for each of my daughters Kaiden, Jordan and Lia. There was "Hope", right beside her sisters. Even before we knew of her, clearly God did and made a special place for her among her sisters.

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