Tuesday, January 27, 2009

God's Encouragement

It has been a long week for me. Almost every night while I sleep, T4 (Tyler #4) just doesn't seem to have enough movement. I can jiggle her various body parts, and switch how I am laying, and yet she doesn't respond. Perhaps she is just a deep sleeper, or perhaps something more is wrong.

I have been asking several professionals for their opinions of what might be happening and how we might be able to monitor her during the night. But even with seeking information and wisdom, I was left in confusion. Adding to my confusion is sleeplessness from 5 straight nights of waking every 30 minutes worried about her.

Finally last night, while contemplating calling yet another friend for counsel, I finally asked the question - how does God want me to handle this?

I lay down for bed and began to work on my latest bible study - a personal study on the word Hope. Last night, my study took me first to Psalm 62. Here are verses 5-8:

My soul, wait in silence for God only,
For my hope is from Him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
My stronghold; I shall not be shaken.
On God my salvation and my glory rest;
The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God.
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us.

Verse 5 struck right at the heart of my dilemma. Wait in silence for God only - for my hope is from Him! The silence of the deep night is by far the hardest time to endure. I often wait for a movement, wait for a kick, or wish I could hear a heartbeat. But my hope is not in her movement, my hope cannot be placed in her at all - that simply is too great a burden for any little life to carry. My hope comes from God, and in the silence of the night I will wait for God only.

As I went to sleep last night, I committed to not wake in anxiousness, to not be caught waiting for T4 to move. And last night, though still filled with waking was also filled with Peace. Each time I woke up, a song of worship would be on my mind. Not the whole song, but just a simple line. An encouraging reminder that the silence was being filled not with my anxiety but with praise.

Lord thank You for the encouragement of Your word. Thank You for inspiring David to write his heart in song to You so that his words of long ago may be an encouragement to me today. Thank You for filling the silence with Your presence.

Romans 15:4 For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.


  1. Dear Anissa,

    I don't know if you'll remember me or not. We met at SOS last summer and talked one night after a Wed night Bible study. You shared your story of Lia with me that night, and I shared with you my story of Samuel, our son with Down syndrome. I just wanted to thank you for your beautiful blog. Your words are touching and I read both Lia's story and your new blog with tears and a lump in my throat. You are being surrounded with prayer, my friend. Your newest little girl is in our Heavenly Father's hands, and she is in my prayers. Please let us know when she makes her entrance into this world. I am praying for health for her and for peace & rest for you! In Christ, Heidi Spencer

  2. Dear Anissa,

    I don't know if you'll remember me or not. We met last summer at Maxwell AFB during SOS. One night after a Wed night OCF Bible study, you and I stood outside talking after the other ladies had left. You shared with me the story of Lia and I shared the story of Samuel, our son born with Down syndrome. I just want you to know that I am praying for you! I am praying for health for your newest child and for rest and peace as you await her birth. I had a baby following our son Sam's birth (Thomas, born heatlhy - praise the Lord) and it was a true walk of Faith the entire pregnancy. While my journey was different, I hold you close to my heart as you wait these final days. Also, I just have to share with you what a small world the AF world is as well as the Christian world. My husband (Spence) was deployed Sept 1-Jan 13 this fall, and I moved from Wright Patt AFB with my 3 children to Naples, FL, to be near family. While there I met someone who knows you from your home church at Dyess. Her name is Lacey Demalis and she was my dearest friend while in FL. Her husband was also deployed to Iraq (she moved from Dyess to Naples to be near family) and she and I met through church. What a small world!

    Praying for you and for your entire family. Thanks for sharing your journey. I look forward to rejoicing with you as you welcome your newest into this world!

    In Christ,
    Heidi Spencer

  3. I am glad we can trust in our Heavenly Father, because your words make me nervous also. I will pray for you more. Philippians 4:4-8 comes to mind.