Tonight I realized that many major decisions in my life that I thought were completely right might not have been right after all.
Lost in thought today, I contemplated a major decision I made last August involving the sale our minivan and the purchase of a new one. At the time, I looked at the many positive events surrounding the purchase - the location, description, and price of the new vehicle, and the interest of a friend in purchasing our old one - and used those events as justification that my decision was "right".
But tonight, while driving in my new van and lamenting that I didn't wait an extra few months to purchase a van that may have better met our needs, I began to question the rightness of my decision.
I realized that I used the seemingly positive circumstances surrounding the purchase to convince myself that I was on the right path. What if, instead of signs of MY right decision, those circumstances were actually GOD working my poor decision into something good. What if the decision wasn't right, but instead redeemed?
God is in the business of redeeming - receiving the wrong and making it right.
Take Israel for example. They wanted a king to rule them so they could be strong like all the other nations. He warned them of all the negative consequences of having a king and yet they persisted in demanding one. So God led Samuel the Prophet to select Saul as the first king of Israel. The circumstances looked good - a strong, tall, capable man, in just the right place at the right time. Requesting a king had not suddenly become right, instead, God was being gracious to Israel. He was working the circumstances for their good, despite their wrong pursuit. When Saul disqualified himself, God didn't back up and remove the monarchy, but instead provided a new king, David, a man after God's own heart. And when David died, God chose Solomon to reign as the wisest man ever.
But God didn't just take the choice of demanding a king and turn it to good by providing quality kings. God used the office of king to foreshadow and prepare the nation for the coming true King in Jesus Christ. God redeemed the wrong choice of wanting a king by using that path to bring about the true King. And that King, Jesus Christ, redeemed us all, bringing us from spiritual and eternal death to life through his death on the cross.
It seems I behaved a bit like Israel last August. I wanted a van, and I wanted it right away. I did care about what God wanted to provide, but the urgency I felt outweighed the counsel of God. In hindsight, our purchase was probably a foolish choice. But yet, thanks to God, our situation ended up good. In my urgency I could have ended up in a big mess, but God, knowing I am but dust, provided a good vehicle, at a good price, in the right place. My choice wasn't right, but God's redeeming it made it work.
What is humbling for me is realizing that the seemingly positive circumstances and outcome are not guaranteed proof of the rightness of my choice. Instead, I am now convinced that the good things that did happen occurred through the redeeming power of God.
I am overwhelmed tonight thinking about a multitude of times in my life when I was sure I was making the right choice when in fact God was simply redeeming my foolish choice. That is amazing grace.
I am humbled. I am thankful. It gives my heart peace to be reminded that acts of faith and acts of foolishness can both be worked for our good. (Romans 8:28)
Lord as I end my day, forgive me for the foolish choices I have made, both choices made knowingly and choices made in simple human ignorance. Lord thank you for your redeeming power. I pray that you take each step of mine, steps of faith and steps of foolishness, and redeem them to your glory. And Lord, keep me humble. Continue to gentle remind me that apart from you I can do nothing.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Current Contemplation... Keeping Covenants
During deployments, when I don't have my husband to keep up half the night with my rambling thoughts and random contemplations, I have some pretty hefty things that sit on my mind.
My current contemplation is how to best "keep covenant" with my husband when he is on the other side of the planet. We, by being married under God, are in a covenant relationship with one another. Keeping covenant means much more than just being faithful, it refers to the daily actions of the heart, body, and mind that maintain and nurture the covenant relationship. Unfortunately, during a 6 month deployment, it is tempting to disregard the covenant. Now, I don't mean I want to run off and have an affair. I mean that it is challenging to figure out how to maintain and nurture the relationship. I want to just say... "Hey, go have a nice 6 months and we'll catch up when you get back." While that choice may be convenient for the moment, it is obviously unwise.
As I've contemplated my marriage covenant, it has forced me to consider my holy covenant with God as well. He brought me into covenant with Himself, adopting me as His child, through the death and resurrection of Christ. This covenant relationship, while permanent, requires covenant keeping on my part in order to experience the fullest blessings. It requires daily activities of my heart, body, and mind to maintain and nurture the relationship. But, like my husband, God is not exactly here right now. So, until Christ returns it is tempting to say... "Hey, go have a nice time building the house in heaven and we'll catch up when you get back."
My relationship with God, and my relationship with Mark are both covenants, covenants that need constant maintenance to be kept strong. I could ignore God and Mark for the next 6 months -- I would still be a Christian, and I would still be married, but I would lose all the blessings that come with "keeping covenant".
So how do I keep covenant with a husband on the other side of the planet and God on the other side of reality?
My current contemplation is how to best "keep covenant" with my husband when he is on the other side of the planet. We, by being married under God, are in a covenant relationship with one another. Keeping covenant means much more than just being faithful, it refers to the daily actions of the heart, body, and mind that maintain and nurture the covenant relationship. Unfortunately, during a 6 month deployment, it is tempting to disregard the covenant. Now, I don't mean I want to run off and have an affair. I mean that it is challenging to figure out how to maintain and nurture the relationship. I want to just say... "Hey, go have a nice 6 months and we'll catch up when you get back." While that choice may be convenient for the moment, it is obviously unwise.
As I've contemplated my marriage covenant, it has forced me to consider my holy covenant with God as well. He brought me into covenant with Himself, adopting me as His child, through the death and resurrection of Christ. This covenant relationship, while permanent, requires covenant keeping on my part in order to experience the fullest blessings. It requires daily activities of my heart, body, and mind to maintain and nurture the relationship. But, like my husband, God is not exactly here right now. So, until Christ returns it is tempting to say... "Hey, go have a nice time building the house in heaven and we'll catch up when you get back."
My relationship with God, and my relationship with Mark are both covenants, covenants that need constant maintenance to be kept strong. I could ignore God and Mark for the next 6 months -- I would still be a Christian, and I would still be married, but I would lose all the blessings that come with "keeping covenant".
So how do I keep covenant with a husband on the other side of the planet and God on the other side of reality?
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
An Update
It has been a long dry fall and winter in West Central Texas. Dry outside, and dry inside my heart.
But God is gracious, and when we ask for wisdom, He comes alongside like a kind father and gives us guidance. And the wisdom has been pouring down now for several days like a good steady tropical rain.
An update on us... Mark, after being mostly home for the past 18 months is officially deployed again. He left in January and will return in July. Emma will turn 2 tomorrow and speaks new words every day. Jordan is 4 and is a bundle of energy. Kaiden is 6 and amazes me daily with her intellect. And I am busy playing Super Mom, and not always doing it very well.
Which brings me to an encouraging thought for the day. What brings glory to God? Is it a clean home, obedient children, participation in every possible religious activity, recycling all our boxes and cans, and evangelizing our neighborhoods? No. What brings glory to God is when we accomplish the work He gives us to do. Nothing more.
Jesus only had 3 years of activity ministry. His life ended with only 11 disciples, and a couple dozen other followers, most of whom hid away in his final hours. Yet, in his last prayer, he said ""I glorified You (God the Father) on the earth, having accomplished the work which You have given Me to do." He never did eradicate leprosy, He never did free all held captive in demonization, He never did convince Judas to have faith. Yet He glorified God having accomplished the work which was given Him to do.
It is freeing to know that we are not measured by our own to do lists - which are often far longer than the day allows. We only need to do what we have been given to do. And graciously, with God's strength, we will always be able to complete it.
That is encouraging, like fresh rain on a dry earth.
But God is gracious, and when we ask for wisdom, He comes alongside like a kind father and gives us guidance. And the wisdom has been pouring down now for several days like a good steady tropical rain.
An update on us... Mark, after being mostly home for the past 18 months is officially deployed again. He left in January and will return in July. Emma will turn 2 tomorrow and speaks new words every day. Jordan is 4 and is a bundle of energy. Kaiden is 6 and amazes me daily with her intellect. And I am busy playing Super Mom, and not always doing it very well.
Which brings me to an encouraging thought for the day. What brings glory to God? Is it a clean home, obedient children, participation in every possible religious activity, recycling all our boxes and cans, and evangelizing our neighborhoods? No. What brings glory to God is when we accomplish the work He gives us to do. Nothing more.
Jesus only had 3 years of activity ministry. His life ended with only 11 disciples, and a couple dozen other followers, most of whom hid away in his final hours. Yet, in his last prayer, he said ""I glorified You (God the Father) on the earth, having accomplished the work which You have given Me to do." He never did eradicate leprosy, He never did free all held captive in demonization, He never did convince Judas to have faith. Yet He glorified God having accomplished the work which was given Him to do.
It is freeing to know that we are not measured by our own to do lists - which are often far longer than the day allows. We only need to do what we have been given to do. And graciously, with God's strength, we will always be able to complete it.
That is encouraging, like fresh rain on a dry earth.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Where is Daddy?
When Absence Doesn't Make a Heart Grow Fonder
Emma recently took on the habit of shouting out "Dada, dada, dada, dada..." as soon as we drove into our neighborhood. We would pull up to the house and her hands would shoot up like a ref calling a touchdown. With a big "yeah!" Emma would toddle into the house in pursuit of her beloved, and often hiding, Daddy.
That habit has now disappeared.
Daddy has been away for 5 days. Less than a week to me, an eternity to little Emma. For the first few days, she would wander the house, looking. When someone said the name Daddy, her face would brighten and she'd be off on the hunt. And up until Sunday, she would still cheer when we pulled into the driveway.
We have tried the life size cardboard cutout affectionately known as Flat Daddy. She gives it a suspicious look, she's not fooled. To her, Daddy is gone.
As I held her close tonight, rocking her again to sleep from an 11pm teething pain, I thought a lot about her and her Daddy. She loves him with all her heart, but just 5 days away from him and her affection is waining.
Then I thought about my Heavenly Daddy.
I go through seasons when I long to see Him, seasons when with excitement I start my morning ready to witness His presence in my life. But there are other times when my affections simmer, times when I will go days without a thought of looking for Him. Emma loves her Daddy and she would look for him constantly because He was constantly there. My Heavenly Daddy is constantly present as well, but it is I who am unfaithful.
Emma has gone 5 days without her Daddy, and now she has forgotten to look for him. When I go 5 days without looking for my Heavenly Father, I begin to forget where He can be found.
What a humbling reminder that I need to keep seeking God daily!
Please take time today to pray for my girls -Emma, Jordan, and Kaiden. It is a short trip for Daddy this time, but the impact on their hearts, and on mine, has still been great. And please pray for the families whose Daddys are gone for far longer. May they know the Heavenly Daddy who is always present.
And Lord, Heavenly Father, thank You for always being present. I cannot imagine surviving this life without You.
Emma recently took on the habit of shouting out "Dada, dada, dada, dada..." as soon as we drove into our neighborhood. We would pull up to the house and her hands would shoot up like a ref calling a touchdown. With a big "yeah!" Emma would toddle into the house in pursuit of her beloved, and often hiding, Daddy.
That habit has now disappeared.
Daddy has been away for 5 days. Less than a week to me, an eternity to little Emma. For the first few days, she would wander the house, looking. When someone said the name Daddy, her face would brighten and she'd be off on the hunt. And up until Sunday, she would still cheer when we pulled into the driveway.
We have tried the life size cardboard cutout affectionately known as Flat Daddy. She gives it a suspicious look, she's not fooled. To her, Daddy is gone.
As I held her close tonight, rocking her again to sleep from an 11pm teething pain, I thought a lot about her and her Daddy. She loves him with all her heart, but just 5 days away from him and her affection is waining.
Then I thought about my Heavenly Daddy.
I go through seasons when I long to see Him, seasons when with excitement I start my morning ready to witness His presence in my life. But there are other times when my affections simmer, times when I will go days without a thought of looking for Him. Emma loves her Daddy and she would look for him constantly because He was constantly there. My Heavenly Daddy is constantly present as well, but it is I who am unfaithful.
Emma has gone 5 days without her Daddy, and now she has forgotten to look for him. When I go 5 days without looking for my Heavenly Father, I begin to forget where He can be found.
What a humbling reminder that I need to keep seeking God daily!
Please take time today to pray for my girls -Emma, Jordan, and Kaiden. It is a short trip for Daddy this time, but the impact on their hearts, and on mine, has still been great. And please pray for the families whose Daddys are gone for far longer. May they know the Heavenly Daddy who is always present.
And Lord, Heavenly Father, thank You for always being present. I cannot imagine surviving this life without You.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
No More Tattling!
Church Discipline in the Home
You can put down your "spanking spoons". That is not what I am talking about!
Our Pastor spoke on church discipline last week. Church discipline is the process by which we are to hold one another accountable in living a Christ-like life (See Matthew 18). For those not familiar with church discpline, here are the basics:
Step 1 "Go to your brother" Go directly to the person and discuss the issue.
Step 2 "Bring a witness" Bring one or two others along to meet with the person - not for the purpose of taking your side, but for listening to and giving judgment concerning the situation.
Step 3 "Bring it to the Elders" You and your "witnesses" bring the person to the attention of the Elders of the Church. The Elders will then meet with the offender, counsel the offender, and if the offender does not repent, the Elders may choose to remove them from the fellowship of the Church.
A friend said to me afterwards, jokingly, "Hey, can I use church discipline on my kids? Can I haul them to the Elders when they won't listen to me?"
"Yes! Absolutely! Kinda."
If God designed the church to be a family, and God has given instruction for how the church is to operate ~wouldn't it make sense for those same ways to work in our home? Here is how:
Step 1: "Go to your brother (or sister)." When two children have fight, they should not bring it straight to the parents. There is no place for "tattling" in the Christian home. They must start by trying to work it out together. When one is sinning and the other finds them in sin or is hurt by their sin, they should not come running to the parent but instead encourage their sibling to make a right choice. (Dangerous situations are obviously excluded!).
Step 2: "Bring a witness" If the siblings cannot work out the problem, or if the one sinning chooses not to stop, it is time to go get Mom. When my children come to me, I must listen fairly to both sides, and give judgment -- allowing the offender an opportunity to repent and change course. I say "get Mom" because I am usually the one home when it all happens - but obviously either parent may come in as mediator. As my children age and their world expands, they will learn of other adults or trusted friends who can help them in solving a conflict.
Step 3: If the issue still is not resolved, it is time to bring it before the "Elders". Not the Elders of the church, but the Elders of the home -- the united team designed to work as "one" and guide the family in Christlikeness. This is when Mom and Dad meet together to address a sin issue that just doesn't seem to stop. One excellent, and biblical, punishment is to remove the child from the "fellowship" of the family. Have the child eat alone and spend all time alone as the family continues its time together. This is a true to life consequence since, as we all know, those who are not kind and loving to others will not have friends.
By teaching this diligently to our kids, we are creating the next great generation of leaders for our church! Children who are trained to hold one another accountable in the home will grow into adults who seek to live rightly and peacefully with one another. This lifestyle, loving one another while maintaining a devotion to righteousness, is the ultimate form of evangelism. For they will know we are Christians by our love!
And you thought you were just settling a dispute over who gets the cookie!
Now for my military friends... who are the "Elders" of your family during a deployment? When only Mom is around, what other adult will back you up and stand in agreement with you when a discipline issue arises? In our family, it is Mr. Tuck, our chidlren's Sunday School teacher. If my kids get near Step 3 when Daddy is gone, I just remind them that they will need to go and see Mr. Tuck. We have needed Mr. Tuck only one time... and thank God for him!
You can put down your "spanking spoons". That is not what I am talking about!
Our Pastor spoke on church discipline last week. Church discipline is the process by which we are to hold one another accountable in living a Christ-like life (See Matthew 18). For those not familiar with church discpline, here are the basics:
Step 1 "Go to your brother" Go directly to the person and discuss the issue.
Step 2 "Bring a witness" Bring one or two others along to meet with the person - not for the purpose of taking your side, but for listening to and giving judgment concerning the situation.
Step 3 "Bring it to the Elders" You and your "witnesses" bring the person to the attention of the Elders of the Church. The Elders will then meet with the offender, counsel the offender, and if the offender does not repent, the Elders may choose to remove them from the fellowship of the Church.
A friend said to me afterwards, jokingly, "Hey, can I use church discipline on my kids? Can I haul them to the Elders when they won't listen to me?"
"Yes! Absolutely! Kinda."
If God designed the church to be a family, and God has given instruction for how the church is to operate ~wouldn't it make sense for those same ways to work in our home? Here is how:
Step 1: "Go to your brother (or sister)." When two children have fight, they should not bring it straight to the parents. There is no place for "tattling" in the Christian home. They must start by trying to work it out together. When one is sinning and the other finds them in sin or is hurt by their sin, they should not come running to the parent but instead encourage their sibling to make a right choice. (Dangerous situations are obviously excluded!).
Step 2: "Bring a witness" If the siblings cannot work out the problem, or if the one sinning chooses not to stop, it is time to go get Mom. When my children come to me, I must listen fairly to both sides, and give judgment -- allowing the offender an opportunity to repent and change course. I say "get Mom" because I am usually the one home when it all happens - but obviously either parent may come in as mediator. As my children age and their world expands, they will learn of other adults or trusted friends who can help them in solving a conflict.
Step 3: If the issue still is not resolved, it is time to bring it before the "Elders". Not the Elders of the church, but the Elders of the home -- the united team designed to work as "one" and guide the family in Christlikeness. This is when Mom and Dad meet together to address a sin issue that just doesn't seem to stop. One excellent, and biblical, punishment is to remove the child from the "fellowship" of the family. Have the child eat alone and spend all time alone as the family continues its time together. This is a true to life consequence since, as we all know, those who are not kind and loving to others will not have friends.
By teaching this diligently to our kids, we are creating the next great generation of leaders for our church! Children who are trained to hold one another accountable in the home will grow into adults who seek to live rightly and peacefully with one another. This lifestyle, loving one another while maintaining a devotion to righteousness, is the ultimate form of evangelism. For they will know we are Christians by our love!
And you thought you were just settling a dispute over who gets the cookie!
Now for my military friends... who are the "Elders" of your family during a deployment? When only Mom is around, what other adult will back you up and stand in agreement with you when a discipline issue arises? In our family, it is Mr. Tuck, our chidlren's Sunday School teacher. If my kids get near Step 3 when Daddy is gone, I just remind them that they will need to go and see Mr. Tuck. We have needed Mr. Tuck only one time... and thank God for him!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
The Countdown
26 days left.
26 days until I will no longer look like I "have my hands full".
26 days until the middle child becomes the oldest, well, at least from 8 to 3.
26 days until our Little Miss Sunshine heads off to be a light in the world.
26 days until Kaiden starts kindergarten.
26 days until I will no longer look like I "have my hands full".
26 days until the middle child becomes the oldest, well, at least from 8 to 3.
26 days until our Little Miss Sunshine heads off to be a light in the world.
26 days until Kaiden starts kindergarten.
 |
| Kaiden, 2004 |
Of course I am over thinking the whole thing. Of course I am thinking back on all the wasted days we could have gone to the park, could have gone to the zoo, could have baked cupcakes at 10 am just because we were home and had the time.
But now her days will be full, and our house will probably feel a little empty.
I thought of jamming a thousand things into our last weeks - something special every day - plus a fun calendar or paper chain to go along with the them.
 |
| Kaiden, 2010 |
But instead, I find myself just wanting to sit with her in my rocking chair and be still. The time for a thousand things has come and gone. Now is the time to hold her, hug her, and remind her just how much God loves her and has a wonderful plan for her life.
It will not be easy to watch her walk through the doors of school that first day. But the comfort for me is this, though she leaves my arms, she will always be held fast by the Lord.
Lord thank you that you hold each of my children safe in your arms. Life has clearly shown me that nothing of this world is sure, except for your presence. Give me wisdom in the days to come as I remind Kaiden of how to recognize your presence. May she always remember that you Lord are with her always!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
I'm Back, I Hope
What a long few months it has been. I finally checked my blog today, assuming my last posting had been sometime in late May. Wow. April 10th. That is sad.
So what kind of a summer has it been? Well, the "Happy Birthday" sign hung in my dining room on April 9th is still haning there, nearly 4 months later.
That is the kind of summer it has been.
But enough of that. I'm back. At least I hope I am.
So what kind of a summer has it been? Well, the "Happy Birthday" sign hung in my dining room on April 9th is still haning there, nearly 4 months later.
That is the kind of summer it has been.
But enough of that. I'm back. At least I hope I am.
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